Final decision

The final step has been made.

La espera

Estoy que espero ansiosa la respuesta de mi jefe. El viernes el me pidio que le diera hasta el lunes en la manana y hoy no lo he visto para nada. Aun falta para que termine la manana sin embargo estoy que la ansiedad me consume de saber lo que va a pasar. Yo me he propuesto escuchar su decision acerca del sueldo y si no es lo que yo deseo entonces presentare mi carta de renuncia.
Tengo toda una mezcla de sentimientos pues son 5 años que trabajo en esta empresa pero tambien he pensando en mi futuro con lo de la escuela y mi persona y estoy atrasando esto debido al trabajo y lo mas imporante que es esque no me siento bien en el trabajo.

Back from California

My trip to California was great! I had a really good meeting in wich one I feel really proud of myself because i was able to be part of an importand discussion and decision taken.
I also went to this nice restaurant right next to the beach: http://www.culinaryadventures.com/restaurants/savannah/huntington_beach/index.html

Everything went well and it help me to see things in different perspective and being able to take the big decision.

Finally, today Friday October 24th i really know what i want to do. I am 100% sure of it and even if bad things happen, i am sure i will be ok =). I had the special feeling ,like when i decided to study chemestry after high school or when i decided to move to USA and when i decided to stay in the States. All of those big decisions on the past had a unkown future and i still took those. Everything went well and i am happy for being a risk taker. So, I am doing it. TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

Mi viaje a California fue exelente. Tuve la oportunidad de viajar en primera clase, tener un excelente reunion ( me siento orgullosa de mi liderazgo), y la oportunidad de ir a un elegante restaurante llamado Savannah.
Todo bien, y ahora de regreso al trabajo sintiendome mas confidente de mi misma.
Acerca de la "gran decision", parece que el 17 ya paso y todavia no tomo la decision ... Pero esto se debe a que tuve el viaje a California entonces decidi posponer esto un poquito mas. Sin embargo, he hablado con mi jefa quien me dijo enviara un e-mail al nuevo jefe explicando mi pedido. Ya lo tengo decicido y estoy feliz con ello. =) para el final del dia, estare finalmente teniendo todo preparado referente a la gran decision.

Business trip - Viaje de negocios

I have almost everything ready for the business trip. The company is sending me to California - New Port beach. Everyone is telling me how excited i should be but seriously ... I am not. Well, kind of now that my boss has told me about these places where we are going to go to eat:

http://www.oystersrestaurant.com/

http://www.waltswharf.com/

so, looks like she want to make it fun specially if we are going to have the terrible, stressfull meeting on Monday.

The picture is saying: " I have decided to confront the reality, so as soon as the reality looks pretty let me know"

Its funny! at least in Spanish lol .

Well, these days i am still debating about the big decision ( I have 2 days left ). After my horrible day/meeting on Friday I am more than sure that i dont want to continue on it. But is something that hold me here besides the money however i am not sure what it is.

I did my budget and so far i will be ok until march-June but i know myself and i am sure i will find a way to make it through. I just got a call about the part time position, looks like they think i can fit for the position however i will losse most of the companie's benefits. They are offering me $1 or $1.5 less of what i am making now and the schedule is on mornings.

Tania siempre te recordare- You will always be with me

I had a really sad and bad news; one of my best friends Tania has passed away in a car accident. I still cant believe it. I am rememring everything that we went throught and how much i value her friendship. Tania, You will always will be with me

Hoy tuve la mala noticia de que mi mejor amiga Tania ha fallecido en un accidente de carro. Aun no puedo creerlo. Me puse a recordar todo lo que pasamos juntas y cuanto valoro su amistad. Tania, donde estes quiero que sepas que siempre estaras conmigo y que eres una de las pocas amigas que nunca me fallaron y que te quiero muchisimo.

pics

Bad Friday

I didnt post anything yesterday because i had a really bad day at work. I ended leaving at 10 am from there. I had a meeting with the VP and AVP's of the area where I am representing in this project. I have been unfairly being accuse of not taking ownership of my work. R, who knows how much i have been working didnt say a word about it so basicaly i was in the meeting as a lier and lazy. He is not honest. So, in the end of the meeting i left feeling really frustrated. When i went back to my office, i couldnt resist more and I started to cry of the frustration, so I decided to leave for the day. Back in home i was thinking in how much i am taking from them and how unfairly i have been treat. My first solucion is to quit but as right now I am deciding to talk to my boss on Tuesday and explain the situation, I will also provide proof in writting of how much was trying to get information from R. I decided to ask not to work representing their area anymore and ask for options. In worst case, they will fire me or i will quit but eitherway i end winning.But I want to put the "BASTA" of people trying to take advantage of me and treating me unfairly.This is not going to stop me to do good in other place.

Bad day for the big decision

THE FOLLOWING POST WAS A MISSUNDERSTANDING I HAD BUT NOW AS 2 DAYS LATER OF IT , THIS HAS BEEN RESOLVE AND WORKING ON FIND THE FAIRLY WAY TO CONTINUE DOING BUSINESS:


Last night something happen that make me feel not right about taking the big decision. I dont know how to explain this clearly but I am going to try:
I thought one of my plans when i was taking the big decision is the fact of to start a business however things were not as I thought and there are some changes. Things happen for a reason and I am glad i found out that i was doing a mistake letting myself believe that two people can do a business without trying to take advantage one to the other. However, things are ok now, i want to leave the business out of my personal relationship with this person. Its sad because i thought we could do a lot together and intead of me thinking in how much "I" could make in this business , i was thinking how much "WE" could make on it. But its Ok, i guess i forgot how north Americans think about this cases ,which is not bad but when is about someone that you trust and who may be your parter, then it should be a litle different.
Anyway, I will keep my idea of just trust on me and the sources of myself so I will keep my idea of this business but by myself. I will start with small but at least i will be happy and release to not be worry about depending on someone else. So, if i want to do this, i may need to think more about the big decision and what is the best in the long run. I want to keep positive and think that things are going to go well and i know i am strong enough to do whatever by myself and of course with the moral support of my family =)
PS : I realized i am still a dreamer which is not bad at all and now at least i am real too which make me happy

Ayer algo paso que me hizo sentir insegura acerca de la decision que estaba tomando. Yo estaba planeando empezar un negocio con alguien y todo se veia muy bien asi cuando terminara la escuela, tendria un ingreso. Sin embargo hubo cambios ya que ayer me di cuenta que yo era la que pensaba en "nuestras ganancias" y la otra persona pensaba en "su" ganancia. Me di cuenta que tengo todavia lo sonadora y pienso que si se puede confiar en alguien mas que tambien pensara en ti pero habia olvidado como los Norteamericanos piensan asi que baje del lado sonador y ahora piso tierra. Entonces se que lo mejor es hacerlo sola, depender solo de los recursos yo puedo dar y no pensar que puedo asociarme a alguien quien pensara no solo en sus ganancias si no las ganancias de ambos "juntos". Por lo tanto , creo voy a tener que pensar muy bien en esto de la decision ya que ahora tengo que ver lo que me asegura la estabilidad en el futuro. Ya no metere el negocio en la relacion personal que tengo con esta persona para llevar las cosas tranquilas. Da miedo eso de estar sola, desde pequena pense que alguna vez podria estar con alguien y contruir algo juntos sin embargo ahora pienso que "YO" debo formar y construir mi futuro y no pensar que alguien estara en mi lado. Se que soy lo suficientemente fuerte para poder sobrepasar cualquien problema que me traiga mis propieas decisiones.

PS. Me alegra saber que no perdi lo sonadora sin embargo ahora pienso con los pies en la tierra, es un gran avance.

Some recent pics of me =)

Steps for the big decision - Wednesday October 8th

I just got an e-mail from my daddy and its such a release to feel his support in my big decision. It made me remember when he was the person who support when i had bad grades ( just 2 in all my life , 2nd grade and the second year of university) , he was who listened without getting upset and prepare me to do the next step , tell my mam about it which was really really hard, Sorry mam!
Well, now I think I have everyone supporting my big decision.
I just want to wake up and feel it right 100%, however i am still with my doubts:
This morning when I wake up, i look to myself in the mirror and ask if its feel right and something inside of me was not 100% sure. I found myself thinking on other ways to do what i want to do without taking the "big decision", I thought about asking 6 months leave without pay ( so i can keep my job secure) and also a new idea which i will try to do anyway and its to ask Stacy the opportunity to become the supervisor for Claims.Anyway, its going to be a new team over Panama so they will need someone bilingual and i will be the perfect fit for it. So, i am going to wait for her to be back at the states and then ask her. In the worst case she will only say no and that's it at least i will feel happy to tried. In conclusion, i see myself trying to find a way to have the security of my job or maybe the hope to continue moving up in this big coorporation. I know i am a really good professional, and i even surprise a lot of people with it because they see me young and maybe with not as much experience as they have but i know i am a good asset to any company. I have a great leadership skills, confident of myself, self motivates, initiative and more. In the other hand, i feel like maybe people are taking advantaje of me and then is when i want to take the big decision. I will talk to Stacy when she comes back and see what happen. Althought, by October 17th i will need to submit the big decision.

Acabo de recibir un e-mail departe de mi papi y me hace sentir mucho mejor el saber que el tambien me da su apoyo en cuando a la "gran decision". Me hizo recordar cuando el siempre estuve en esos momentos dificiles para mi como cuando saque mala nota ( solo dos veces en mi vida, uno en segundo de primaria y la otra en el segundo ano en TECSUP) sin embargo el me apoyo y me ayudo a prepararme a como decirle a mi mami , sorry Ma =)
Bueno ahora creo que casi todos apoyan mi decision aunque todavia no se que pensara mi tia Carito, mi tio Oscar y Marco. pero como que me huelo que ellos tambien me apoyaran.
Solo quisiera sentir que me levanto en la manana y siento al 100% bien acerca de mi decision.
Esta manana me levante, me mire al espejo preguntadome como me siento acerca de esto y no me sentia 100% bien. Luego me di cuenta que sin querer estuve pensando en otras salidas de como asegurar mi trabajo, pense en pedir 6 meses de permiso sin paga o de hablar con una jefa para que me ponga en la posicion de supervisora de un departamento que ella esta manejando ya que estn abriendo un grupo en Panama entonces yo seria perfecta para manterner la comunicacion ya que soy bilingue. Voy a intentar hablar con ella, no pierdo porque en el peor de los casos ella dira no pero almenos sabre que he intentado todo para ver la posibilidad de quedarme. En conclusion, estoy viendo que inconsientemente estoy con estas ideas de como terminar la escuela rapido, trabajar en la escuela promoviendo latinoamerica y al mismo tiempo asegurando mi trabajo por aca y teniendo la esperanza que me subiran de posicion.Yo se que soy un excelente profesional , y hasta la gente se sorprende de mis abilidades ya que me ven muy joven pero ya he demostrado siendo coordinadora, que puedo hacer mucho con mi positivo liderazgo. Voy a hablar con Stacy y ver lo que pasa. Para el 17 de octubre tengo que presentar la gran decision.

Morning with Doubts

I wake up this morning having again the same doubts about my decision. I talked to myself and I say: its just being afraid of the unknow situation i will be into.
However, during the day i had the opportunity to talk to a friend and share my feelings; while i was talking to her i was feeling right doing what i am planning to do. I am the person who reafirm my own feelings when i talk about it so in this situation, i can feel afraid or have a lot of doubts but when i talk about my decision then i know what is right to do even its a lot of risk.
I am in a meeting right now, and just feeling how much lack of comunication is present in this project is making me be more sure about taking this decision.

Things to do before the big decision :

1. Get all the recomendation letters from my current managers and old managers


2. Get all co-workers information to build a personal directory ( contacts )


3. Organize office and find which files should be keep or not


4. Copy to a personal USB all information saved on my office's desktop


5. Confirm with advisor about which classes are left to take in order to graduate


6. Find a lender for school loans

Querida familia, en este post basicamente hablo del proceso por el cual estoy pasando en el hecho de tomar la decision de renunciar a mi trabajo. Puedo confesar el miedo que me da el hecho de tomar este riesgo pero al mismo tiempo siento que estoy haciendo lo correcto. Se que los tengo locos a todos ustedes con esas mis decisiones pero felizmente siempre he demostrado tomar las decisiones correctas en mi vida y despues de todas esas experiencias que he pasado por seguir mis suenos estoy segura que toda decision trae buenas y malas cosas pero se que puedo superar lo que venga. Por ahora, no soy feliz en mi trabajo, no me siento bien y el hecho de estar en el extremo de sentir ganas de llorar por la frustacion de todos los dias me llevo a hacer una re-evaluacion de lo que en verdad quiero para mi. Estuve retrasando terminar la escuela por el trabajo, ya que veir estaba subiendo de posiciones pero no fue como yo pense por lo tanto despues de mi pre evaluacion, he encontrado que mi prioridad es terminar la escuela y ahora tengo la oportunidad ya que puedo tener ayuda financiera. Asi que estoy en todo ese proceso de renunciar pronto. Tengo la oferta de trabajo en la universidad para trabajar en el departamento de international students affair en la oficina de latinoamerica, y trabajare promoviendo latinoamerica. He aceptado esta oferta asi que estare trabajando medio tiempo con ellos y dedicando a 100% para la escuela y con ayuda de Dios voy a poder terminar dentro de un año y medio. Al mismo tiempo, estamos trabajando con Keith en empezar a tener negocios que en un futuro nos traeran ingresos. Creo todo esta bien y las decisiones que estoy tomando las estoy sintiendo correctas y eso es muy imporante para mi para estar preparada a lo que venga sea malo o bueno.

Almost ready to make a decision

I am happy to have my mami back in the states and ready to start to make the big decisions for my next 2 years of my life. I feel more confident of what i want to do specially when i hear my mam supporting my ideas ... even there are some crazy and risky ideas but she still think these are a good decisions that in the long run will make me happy.
I am lucky to have a special people like all my family and my boyfriend who support whatever I do. I know I did give a lot of surprises to my family and almost a heart attack to my dad for instance when i told them i was leaving Peru to go to the US ( two weeks before my flight) and with some drama but everyone was happy for me and now everyone is in some way asking me to think about me and make the decision to follow my happiness ... sounds so easy but seriously its really hard ... maybe i am afraid of the change for an unknow experience. However, i know i need to follow my values, be myself and i was becaming a person who just follow the rutine and what is next? marriage and kids ? not way !!! at least not to the rutine and the end of life like that. i want to become succesful and not to proof people my value, i want to proof to myself. Thanks God i have a good guy next to me who reminds me how is the real me and keep me eyes open to see my goals and dreams..

Nice pic

I LOVE YOU

Thanks for you support in my decisions and be so patient with me.

Thanks for be who you are and be in my life

I dont want to bring the past over us because the past is the past and if we left some ones it was because they were not right people for us.

Montreal - Peru

I just went to the airport to take Keith who is going to spend the weekend at Montreal, I am excited for him because it is a while he didnt visit his family and friends. He is taking all the gifts we bought from Peru for his family and friends =D

My mam is coming from Peru and i am so happy for it .. I am counting the minutes to have her back =)

Kitecito se fue a visitar su familia y amigos por este fin de semana lo cual me alegra porque ya va tiempo que no iba por alla , esta llevando todos lo regalos que compro para su familia =)

Estoy emocionada de tener a mi mami de vuelta =)